…but not in the good way. I mean that I have rarely seen such a massive line at the security checkpoint. And even though there were at least 15 scan lines, the hordes of people snaking their slow way through to get to these lines was insane. Is there some holiday happening that I am unaware of? Fortunately, I got to the airport with plenty of time to spare, and I am now ensconced in the SWISS lounge (why on earth did they change their name from Swissair, anyway?). Despite not having the appropriate pass, they let me in anyway, and I am now enjoying free water, brownies, brisket, cantaloupe, and Wi-Fi, not necessarily in that order. My flight boards in a little less than an hour. I will then have about a 3 hour layover before catching my flight to Marrakech. Maybe by the time I return to NYC, Spring will actually be a thing.
The last several days have been a strange period of waiting for things. Waiting on checks to arrive. Waiting on clients to get back to me. Waiting on potential clients to approve a contract that I am not even sure I want. Perhaps because of all this waiting, I have felt a contemporaneous and strange sense of waiting for something else as well. Something unknown and unknowable. Something I can’t put my finger on exactly. I am not at all a fan of this sensation, as it is definitely outside the realm of being in the present. It pulls me somewhere else and makes me immaterial somehow. It places a vague, uneasy cloud over everything, a slight sense of dread. I am not sure exactly what this thing is, except a lack of focus, and a lack of presentness.
Trying to get back into doing something while waiting, I reworked my CV a bit yesterday to add new clients and make the management of the client area easier to change. It is now all stored in a database table, and each client record is now easy to publish or unpublish as well as adding new clients or info without ever having to touch the page design. It gave me a small sense of accomplishment, and luckily today I received some new client information that will allow me to get back to work on their projects.
But this vague sense of waiting remains. What am I waiting for, what are we waiting for?