Are you nervous?


“Are you nervous?”

“Aren’t you nervous?”

“How are you feeling, worried, nervous?”

I can’t believe how often this question is asked of me by people who know I am going into surgery tomorrow. The very idea of surgery clearly touches a nerve (pardon the pun) in people. Well, if I wasn’t before, I am now. Thanks everybody.

In all seriousness though, I’m not all that nervous. It will be what it will be. My worries are more about how quickly I will be able to resume work, and (thus) how quickly I will be able to pay off this rather expensive operation. I do wonder though what prompts this particular question from people. What is it they imagine when they pose it? That I won’t wake up from the anesthesia? That they will operate on the wrong body part or otherwise botch the operation? That they will find cancer? That it will be painful? I have been through operations before that were no picnic while convalescing, at least this one isn’t directly in my head like my previous sinus surgery. Sure, it won’t be fun to sleep propped up for a week, and the idea of not showering for 4 days is kinda yucky, but I will survive. (Unless I don’t.)

I have spent most of the day preparing as much as I could, and trying to do things that would be difficult right after the operation, like shaving and trimming nails and cleaning my apartment and such. I bought some large ugly button shirts so I will have something to wear (I will have to forsake my beloved T-shirts for some time alas). I have all my xrays and special cooling pads and documents ready to go with me to the hospital tomorrow morning at 7:15am (yeah, you read that right). I have a lovely group of friends that will be looking in on me over the next few days, and it has made me feel truly blessed.

See you all on the other side.