Overheard in a locker room


“Hi, it’s John…because we need to talk…I don’t want to go into that…we have been over it before…you are a jealous person… anyway, I have a meeting and I am not sure what is going to happen. The last one was a disaster, the clients were being complete assholes. I hate them, but in this economy what can you do? …What?…I am calling you because I am a generous, nice person. I want to invite you to dinner with us…why not? What do you want? I do not have a jealous bone in my body, darling. That is YOUR problem. sigh…we have been over this, I don’t want to rehash it. I called to be nice. Why what?…because I love myself, that’s why. And no one can take that away from me. I told you, being jealous gets you absolutely nowhere, now why can’t…hello?..hello?…fuck.”

What in god’s name makes someone initiate this conversation from a cell phone in a locker room? One can only guess because he wanted to put on a little performance for the others in the room. I am not sure if he intended to come off as high minded, attempting the cool detached demeanor and voice of the therapist, but he just ended up sounding like a dick. There are a number of situations like this where people makes calls for no other reason than that they have a cell phone and some need to fight the void. I have noticed a similar situation with businessmen in suits waiting in an airport or restaurant or lobby. They will often call and leave a message reconfirming some meeting or setting up a new one or asking for an email to be resent, but one really gets the feeling they are just uncomfortable being alone and attempting to fill the emptiness.