A truly bad date


Another one, you ask? Yes, but rather than get upset, I am grateful in that they give me a story to tell, something to blog about. Here are the reference points in today’s bad lunch date:

– 10 minutes late

– Constantly talking about himself, never asking any questions of me.

– On the rare moments where he was catching his breath or eating and I could get a word in edgewise, I would start to talk about something, but he would interrupt me to tell me how the thing I had begun to talk about was related to his life. And then he would launch into another long story about it.

– He talked about past relationships and how they had gone wrong or bad, including stories of drug use, knife threatening, and restraining orders.

– He ate a lot of raw onions and chewed in such a way that pieces would land on me on occasion.

There was more, like wondering aloud why old boyfriends had left him (and ascribing reasons that were convenient), and almost leaving without leaving a tip. But all in all, I would rather get root canal than go on another date with this guy.

How to hold a conversation


I met a guy online a couple of days ago and we decided to meet for coffee a few hours ago. He immediately began by telling me about an ex girlfriend that broke his heart. Then he told me about an ex boyfriend that did the same. What followed after that (in mind numbing detail) was a catalogue description of every person he has ever met in his life. This lasted roughly two hours, punctuated only by the occasional text message and phone call from his friends. Other parts of his monologue included observations about “gay guys”, moving apartments and how expensive they are, and surviving in Italy for 3 months on a few hundred dollars.

For the rest of you maleducados out there, please make note of the following tips the next time you are on a first coffee date:

– Try to ask as many questions as you answer.

– Don’t talk on your cellphone or message excessively.

– Don’t talk about your ex. Any of them.

– Don’t stereotype gay people, even if you are one. In fact, don’t sterotype anyone.

– Listen to what the other person is saying.

Follow these instructions, and you just might make it to date number two.