Oh, I thought you were having sex.


As the hot (and humid) summer approaches, two things have been in ascendence with me. One is that I have been going to the gym and working out a lot more for that, shall we say, swimsuit-ready look. And the second (inevitable) thing has been an upswing in my usage of  the air-conditioning in my apartment. And I am pretty sure the combo of cold apartment and intense leg workout was what led to me waking up screaming at 3am with not one, but TWO intensely painful charley horses, one in each calf. As I literally screamed in pain, bending over to try to smooth out the muscle, my abs also cramped, and I flipped back in even more pain. I must have been screaming and moaning in pain for a good 3-5 minutes, and during this time I wondered how my friend Gonzalo, who is staying in my apartment, could have slept through the whole thing. Why didn’t he come in to see what was wrong or at least knock on the door? Could he have really not noticed something so loud?

This morning I got up and told him what had happened and asked him if he heard anything and all he had to say was, “Oh, I thought maybe you were having sex.”