Deal breakers?


Maybe it is because it seems like just about everyone around me is paired up, but I have been focusing a lot recently on my singledom (singleness? singletude?). As regular readers know, I go on a fair number of dates. I enjoy going on these dates, as I think everyone is worth meeting. Everyone has something interesting about them, and this time is never wasted for me. Still, I would like to eventually meet someone I could go on more than one or two dates with, someone with whom I could build something more lasting, but something always gets in the way: me. Even with the absolutely huge number of people I have met, it is punishingly rare to meet someone I want to see again (and again). There is always something wrong. Last night was a perfect example: I went on a dinner date with a very nice and handsome guy, and as we left the restaurant he asked hopefully if I wanted to continue our discussion over another drink at a bar or my apartment. And in that second as I was considering inviting him back to my place for a drink, he took out a pack of cigarettes and lit up. Kissing a smoker is for me one of the more unpleasant things to do, and because I like kissing so much, I consider this a deal breaker. So I thanked him for meeting me and bid him goodbye. Needless to say, there are many such deal breakers or red flags: gay republicans, hating one’s family, excessive materialism, lack of chemistry, already being in a relationship, and many more. At some point I suppose (when I become lonely enough) I will lower my standards and pare down the list, but it does have me curious about what others think. And so, dear readers, I pose you the same question: What is a deal breaker for you?