(Minor) friends and lovers


When I lived in Mexico, I dated a few people. Nothing terribly serious, just good fun. And I am still on good terms with each of them, and consider them friends. One such “friend” who I hadn’t heard from in a while (and who had gotten into in a relationship just before I left Mexico) sends me an IM last week out of the blue. We start chatting and he goes on about how he would really like to see me, and how he wanted to come to New York, and how he was on vacation at the moment…hint, hint. So observing the obvious, and sure that we would have fun as friends in New York, I invited him. He was thrilled and told me the dates he wanted to come and how he was really (!) looking forward to seeing me. He got a little overly squishy with some line about how he really had been missing me, which I thought a bit over the top really, given our relationship, but nice nonetheless. I wasn’t sure what he expected to happen between us while he was in New York, and it didn’t really matter to me. I tend not to project into the future about such things. He told me that he just had to finalize his flight and would call me later the same day with info on his arrival. So I went to clear his stay with my roommate (who was fine with it, fortunately) and make sure that the apartment would be presentable and that my schedule the coming week would permit me to spend time visiting the city with him as he requested. I didn’t hear back from him as planned and so later I sent him an email. Not getting a response, the following day I sent another, again without a response. This was odd I thought, as we had a specific plan for him to be here from Monday to Friday of this week. So I made plans and moved on.  Today I get a message telling me that he had made up with his boyfriend and so he would not be coming. WTF? He never told me in the first place that they were broken up (or still together for that matter), and I hadn’t really given it much thought. But apparently he was feeling sad and lonely after a recent break-up, and this led to his discovery of feelings of longing to see me, at least temporarily.

Now, what is the word I am looking for to describe this behavior….? Rude? Narcissistic or just self-absorbed?


  1. Salvador says:

    To me that falls directly into the “rude” category. Big time.

  2. Kelly says:

    I think it covers all three categories quite nicely.

  3. PattyK says:

    3 words: estupido! no cahones!

  4. Mom says:

    The word you are looking for is “male.”

  5. closetalk says:

    ummm.. balmy! :)

  6. German says:

    I liked your mom´s comment. Could not stop laughing! She is wise.