If I ran UPS…


Still no package, and the comedy of errors and incompetence is breathtaking. Since I am a prisoner in my own home at the moment, I thought I would take some time to analyze the problems at UPS.

If I ran UPS, here is what I would change:

1. Make sure there is a way for both the central office and the local to contact drivers directly. UPS claims (and I have to admit it strains credibility) that they have no way of contacting their drivers. There are numerous issues that could be resolved quickly if they could simply place a call to the driver.

2. Don’t lie to customers. It may get an irate customer off the phone to assure them that their package will arrive by a certain time or in a certain time frame, but when it doesn’t happen repeatedly you lose all credibility. Say what you know to be true.

3. If you promise something, deliver. This applies both to calling someone back with information, as well as with deliveries. If you don’t deliver on your promise, do something about it, like refunding the customer.

4. Have an ounce of flexibility. If the street is blocked but still accessible, walk the package up the street or call the customer to see if they want to come down and get it.

5. Realize when something goes wrong that the first priority should always be getting the package to the customer. You can figure out what went wrong later. Delaying delivery in an attempt to figure out what is wrong just compounds the problem and raises tempers further.

6. Hold bad drivers responsible if they fake an attempt or otherwise fail to perform.

7. Give customers a two hour window. 9am-7pm is crazy. With a very small amount of planning it should be possible to know within a couple of hours when a delivery will take place. No one likes to wait around.

8. Create a special team in each city to deal with delivery failures. Have them grab orders and deliver them directly and quickly, calling customers to coordinate specifics.

Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to try to meditate…


  1. Mom says:

    I agree with you, but I’m dying to know–WHAT are you waiting for?

  2. Stephen says:


  3. Stephen says:

    Ok, a computer monitor.