Overheard in a locker room


“Hi, it’s John…because we need to talk…I don’t want to go into that…we have been over it before…you are a jealous person… anyway, I have a meeting and I am not sure what is going to happen. The last one was a disaster, the clients were being complete assholes. I hate them, but in this economy what can you do? …What?…I am calling you because I am a generous, nice person. I want to invite you to dinner with us…why not? What do you want? I do not have a jealous bone in my body, darling. That is YOUR problem. sigh…we have been over this, I don’t want to rehash it. I called to be nice. Why what?…because I love myself, that’s why. And no one can take that away from me. I told you, being jealous gets you absolutely nowhere, now why can’t…hello?..hello?…fuck.”

What in god’s name makes someone initiate this conversation from a cell phone in a locker room? One can only guess because he wanted to put on a little performance for the others in the room. I am not sure if he intended to come off as high minded, attempting the cool detached demeanor and voice of the therapist, but he just ended up sounding like a dick. There are a number of situations like this where people makes calls for no other reason than that they have a cell phone and some need to fight the void. I have noticed a similar situation with businessmen in suits waiting in an airport or restaurant or lobby. They will often call and leave a message reconfirming some meeting or setting up a new one or asking for an email to be resent, but one really gets the feeling they are just uncomfortable being alone and attempting to fill the emptiness.


  1. closetalk says:

    so, other than the steamy phone chats…. the gym going well? :)

  2. Amanda says:

    yea evesdropping!

  3. Josh L. says:

    This doesn’t happen in the university gym here in Illinois. Maybe good midwestern manners at work?