It is a difficult economy, everybody says so. And the internet seemingly has the answers to almost any question. Check out this informative article from ehow.com, for example, which will apparently document how to do almost anything.
I reconnected with an old friend yesterday after a long absence. We had a great meandering talk about a number of things and I asked her what she was doing to occupy her time these days. She explained to me that she is working as a life coach. I began considering the outlines of this profession and started thinking that in some ways I was quite suited to it. Then today I crossed paths with another subject matter that I have recently become aware of: virtual worlds such as Second Life.
And then it hit me what a funny job it would be to become a virtual life coach. I could create a virtual website with virtual testimonials from virtual celebrities that had benefited from my virtual coaching. Since this world is virtual, everything can be larger than (real) life. The stakes are higher (and lower), the rewards greater (and smaller), the failures more spectacular (and less spectacular). In addition to coaching virtual people how to live a better virtual life and achieve their virtual goals, I could become a virtual expert in these sorts of things and attend virtual conferences that I would organize and even create a virtual certification for myself and others like me.
If I were a life coach outside of this virtual world, however, I might advise my clients to pay more attention to the game called real life pulsating all around them. Then again, who is to say what is real and what is not? Not me, that is for sure.
Perhaps “drunk instant messaging” would be a more apt title. Over the past week (for some inexplicable reason) I have had not one, not two, but three guys who I have met at various places in my travels start long involved conversations over IM about their love lives and desirability. One went out of his way to tell me that he feels nothing these days when he is rejected by the object of his affection, another asking if he should pursue a guy he is interested in, and a third obsessing about aging and his looks. What all three of these guys have in common (it seems to me) is that they are looking for some love fulfillment outside themselves. Why I have the taint of the Oracle at Delphi is beyond me, but perhaps I should start a new career as the gay “Dear Abby”(“Dear Gabby”?).
Let’s face it, you all hate to interview. You sweat bullets worrying about how to make your great experience come alive in front of some evil executive or recruiter. You can’t stand having to perform this way. If only someone could take this test for you. If only someone could interview for you.
Someone can: me.
This is another case of an odd job that I would be perfect for. I interview quite well. I really enjoy it in fact. How great is it to be invited to have coffee and talk about your accomplishments with an eye towards getting paid for it? How fun is it to relive your successes and failures in front of a captive audience? I enjoy it immensely, even if you don’t. This job would combine my love of the interview performance art with a keen interest in my clients’ work history and personal habits.
The one flaw in this otherwise brilliant plan is that, for some unfortunate reason, employers tend to want to meet first hand their prospective hires.
Still, perhaps I can make this one a go. After sharing this idea with a friend of mine earlier, he thought it a great idea and has hired me to stand in for him in a job phone screen next week! He is fortunately not all that concerned with the outcome since he already has a position he quite likes. Will I fall flat and ruin his chances at ever being hired by this company? Or will they double their efforts to woo him after my telephone conversation acrobatics? Stay tuned…
What with the whole productivity thing, and my recent travels and desire to find the best fit for my particular talents, I (with help from my friends) have come up with a few ideas for career opportunities that clearly work for me. Part one of a series.
Paid Party Guest
Let’s face it, I’d be perfect for this. I am well traveled, speak several languages, am a good story teller, and have a good sense of humor. I will be able to intelligently discuss subjects as diverse as the perfect dhosa, Cassavetes, identity politics and home networking setups.
But how to get going with this profession? How do I get my first hire? Word of mouth? An ad on the internet? Perhaps I will put myself on eBay or Craigslist and let the bids roll in. I could include photos of myself in some smart party attire (covering a range from Nick and Nora to Stussy). Of course there will be links to this blog, CV, and references to complete the picture.
For each “assignment”, I’ll need to know a little about the attendees and perhaps brush up on a subject or two. And I’ll be completely honest with prospective clients about my level of expertise.
“You want me to talk about college football? Um, who gave you this number?”