Sandy strikes again

13
Aug
2011

This is getting ridiculous. Every few months it seems, you crawl out of your suburban hole, fill out my email address on various websites ranging from cheap magazine promotions to jewelry stores to pet supply products¬†(and strangely, even Men’s Health Magazine…is it for the soft porn allure of shirtless men, Sandy? Are you trying to convince your flabby husband to get in shape with a subscription?). Enough already. You, Sandy, have been a bit careless. You have left clues that have allowed me to trace you to your ugly tract house on Golf drive in San Jose, California. I surmise from the look of it you lead a somewhat empty existence. Perhaps you are suffering some sort of existential crisis, one that can only be assuaged by consumer goods and promises of unattainable health and beauty. Perhaps that is why you get your thrills filling in web forms with legitimate seeming email addresses that happen to belong to someone else. Sandra, this is very bad karma indeed, and if you don’t stop I fear you will be reincarnated as something rather unpleasant like a dung beetle, or more fittingly, one of the animals they use to test your cheap cosmetics on.