Worried, upset


My fucking shoulder. I am so over it. Over the past few days, it has started hurting more, not less, and I am worried that something is terribly wrong. Reaching for things a week ago didn’t cause the jolts of pain I am now feeling at even the slightest extension of my arm. I go see my PT tomorrow and will ask her about it, but I have a yucky, sinking feeling in my gut about it right now. Like something ripped or tore inside. If this damn operation didn’t work, after all I have gone through, I will go postal. If after over a year of increasing pain, multiple failed therapies, and finally (being assured by my doctor that this would be the fix) a 10,000 dollar operation that I can’t afford and still haven’t paid off, this all amounts to nothing? Do I get my money back at least? Do I sue? Or am I likely just screwed, totally screwed? What is the process? I am just venting right now because I need to. Because I am over this pain and many months of never having a full night’s sleep. I am over all of it, and depressed as hell at the possibility that it is getting worse, not better. Thanks, readers, for letting me get that off my chest.