Notes on healing

21
Oct
2010

– You would be amazed how many people see that you are wearing an arm sling and think nothing at all about squeezing your shoulder or slapping it, or just plain bumping or running into it. All kinds of people, including friends and acquaintances who know better after having heard a lengthy description of the horrific shoulder operation that led to my arm being in a sling at the moment. I could be wrong, but I swear this is happening with a far greater frequency than before the operation. It is as if people see my condition and they tell themselves “must avoid the shoulder, must avoid the shoulder”, but then some sadistic part of their subconscious comes to the fore and makes them hit it at all costs.

– I still have to wear the damn thing at night, and haven’t had a decent night’s sleep since before the operation almost three weeks ago. I have settled into a somewhat bizarre routine of sleeping for one hour, waking up with a jolt of discomfort, staying awake for an hour or so until coma is nearly upon me, sleeping another hour (or two if lucky) then up again for a bit, then another hour or so. Usually I am fully up by 4:30 am. This lack of proper sleeping (and proper dreaming) has made me terribly out of it most days and not very motivated to do anything. My physical therapist tells me I still have to wear it another couple of weeks. Ugh.

– As you can no doubt tell form the above, I have to wear the damn sling everywhere. And, being sick of wearing the same thin jacket day after day, I thought I would try on another one the other day, a jean jacket I have had but rarely wear. Putting on shirts and jackets is a one armed affair as you can imagine, and it takes a bit of dexterity to make it work. The jean jacket was a bit tight, what with the heavy shirt I was wearing underneath, I  realized once I had finally managed to get it on. Too tight in fact, and I was unable to get the sling on over it as the arms weren’t moving enough. I then realized to my horror that like the famous bear in the cookie jar, I was stuck. This caused a mild panic attack on my part as I flailed about my bedroom making grunting and whooping noises while trying to dislodge the (straight) jacket. I briefly considered dialing 911 or a friend to help me out, but finally broke free just before having to amputate my bad arm.

– As I said, what with the no sleeping thing, I am pretty listless most days and not very inspired to do much work. Unfortunately, I really need to kick it into gear to do the work I have and generate more if I ever hope to pay off the debt that this stupid operation has me under, not to mention rent and food and such. Anyone out there need a website or tech support of some kind?

This entry was posted in Satori.
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