Yesterday Shaan and I got back on the bikes and rode down to the same area as yesterday, but this time we got on the ferry and crossed over to the island just across from Toronto proper. It was an absolutely beautiful day, and we hung out on a clothing optional beach (where we opted to keep our shorts on) for several hours before biking around the island a bit and finally heading back into the city and home to Barry’s place. We picnicked on the beach with beer and sandwiches we had brought with us, and the sun and air was perfect. Maybe a little too perfect, as it was so pleasant we stayed an hour too long and got somewhat sunburned. We talked a lot about Andrew and what he had meant to us, we talked a lot about life in general, things we had done and might do. On the ferry back I felt so grateful for this trip and told Shaan that I had no more questions for now, that at least in that moment I was feeling ok, and I thanked him for spending all this time with me the last few days.
I will head to the airport in a couple of hours and take my plane back to New York. And though the fact and circumstances of Andrew’s death will never sit well with me, I feel more connected to the people he loved and to him for it. I am not a fan of the word “closure”, so I will just say that I am leaving feeling more at peace with what has happened and a greater sense of connected and open.