Cram

23
Sep
2009

I never feel that I have enough time to see everyone when I take a short trip to a place I have lived before. Yet still I feel pressured to do so for some reason. Am I worried that the people I don’t see will feel slighted or somehow less important? Being the people pleaser I often am, probably. On each of my trips out to California this year (and this is the third), I have felt somewhat rushed, unable to “fit it all in”.  I really need to revisit this logic and calm down about it. We can never see everyone or do everything that we think we should, especially in a place that has so much history for us. I am here for a bit of work. That is my primary reason for coming. I will be back one day, or I won’t. I need to relax about what I can really do here, and how much I should cram in. Because each time I try to shove so much into so little time, I end up feeling exhausted, yet still guilty for not seeing those people I could not see. But life is like this, and I need to be more focused on fewer things, not the other way around. So apologies in advance everyone, and please don’t take it personally. You are not less loved for me not seeing you, nor more loved because circumstances worked out such that we could.

Comments

  1. mom says:

    You feel guilty because you have Jewish genes. I know–I gave them to you.